Who Is Loving You?!

He was not in love with me. 

I was with him for thirty-six years(36) you see, then one day, I realized,  he was not in love with me.

But, did love him you see. 

Listen to me. I almost died when I realized, that he was not in love with me.

I was in love with him and that is why he did me in.  

I loved him, and thought he was my hero, and my friend. 

He preferred my kin, he did not even like the color of my skin.

No matter what I did for him, I could not win. 

He was not in love with me.  

I do not know why that fact, I could not see. 

Maybe I just did not want to believe, he was not in love with me. 

I allowed him to use me. 

If my name would have been Jesus he would have been my Judas.

If I would have been laid on a tree, he would have hammered the nails in me. 

He was not in love with me,

He only stayed with me, because he could use me.

He would laugh and poke fun at me.

He ,his women and his men friends all  took advantage of me.  I made quite a bit of money you see.

They all threw darts at me, because, he was not in love with me. 

I loved him with all I had. 

I  did make some mistakes that were bad. One of them was allowing myself to be had.

But, I never thought that he would be the one to execute me.   

Even though he would mistreat me, to see him at times would make me glad. 

I was the butt of all of their jokes, they would look at me and light up their smokes.

They would laugh so hard they would strangle and on their tokes. 

When he was with his blonde I was his mule and his maid.

When he was with his dark skinned one I was a smelly fat belly.

When he was with his brown skinned one, I was unclean and real mean.

When he was with his men friend I was an ugly drag queen. 

Shit, He was not in love with me that took me 36 years to see.

I can still smell the stench, of everyone he slept with my bed. Oh God I wish I was dead.

They even cooked in my kitchen, na ain’t that bitchin.  Aww shit he was just not in love with Me.  

My whole world had been a big fat lie. 

I cried and cried he lied and lied. 

I realized that as bad as I wanted to just blame him, I had to blame myself too. 

I do not wish this would ever happen to you. Thank God our kids really do not have to pay for what we do.

If it were not for Jesus, I would not have made it through. 

Even though he was not in love with me.

I still loved  that man dearly you see.

But my tears were wasted and my words were not heard.

His ears were deaf to my plea, the man was in love with me . He loved some else you see.

A pretty little Christian girl more righteous than me. She had pull with the Church you see.  

I felt left alone no one  to love or protect me, heart destroyed, estem gone, drowning in pool of sorrow, which gave him and my enemies a thrill.  

Just when death was all I could see, this man named Jesus came and rescued me.

With Preachers, in their corner and  the Holy Grail too, who thought that such a God would see me through.

It seems as if the man they called JC, was the only one who unconditionally loved me.    

He was holding my hand the entire time, while my husband was spending my  money on his new found dime.

The only reason I held on to life,  is because, this  guy named  Jesus would rock through the night.

I could not sleep and would not eat, so JC gave me milk instead of meat. , then he would feed me words of wisdom as a sweet treat.   

If the world don’t love you that is okay. Someone will come along from heaven and show you the way.

WHO IS LOVING YOU